Thomas didn’t acknowledge Tyler’s voice. Nevvie waved at Carol and stepped back while the nurse checked his vital signs. “Mr. Kinsey, can you squeeze Tyler’s hand for me?”
Tom’s eyes finally drifted to Carol, then closed.
Nevvie fought the urge to shake him. Instead, she squeezed his other hand. “Tommy, please, honey, wake up,” she desperately urged.
He didn’t open his eyes again.
“That’s okay,” Carol assured her. “I’ll get his doctor and let him know he opened his eyes.” She left them alone. Nevvie looked across the bed at Tyler. His eyes were focused on Thomas.
* * * *
Thomas didn’t open his eyes again that afternoon. Nevvie forced Tyler to go home with Karen because he was obviously in pain. Peggy sat with Nevvie, on the other side of the bed, holding Tommy’s other hand. Eventually after midnight, Peggy returned home. Karen came back with Tyler a half-hour later.
“I thought you were supposed to be sleeping,” Nevvie gently scolded him.
“I wish you’d go home and get some yourself.”
She stared at Thomas and stroked his hand. “No. Not until he wakes up.”
Tyler settled in his chair with a pained grunt. “Love, he would not want you to wear yourself out.”
She shook her head and refused to meet Tyler’s gaze, knowing if she did she couldn’t resist him. “No, Ty. I’m not going home until he wakes up. I was here when you woke up. I’ll be here for him, too.”
He realized there was no sense arguing with her and settled in to wait. Karen only stayed a few minutes, then returned to the house.
Around two a.m., Nevvie dozed with her head resting on the bed when she felt Tom squeeze her hand. She sat up, immediately alert. Tyler was awake but lying in the recliner and staring at Tom’s face.
“He’s trying to come out of it, I think, love,” he softly spoke. “He’s moved his head a few times.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
Tyler’s face hardened. “Sweetheart, if you collapse from exhaustion it does no one any good. You have to rest. I would not have let you slept if he awoke.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No apologies, love. Just please, take care of yourself and don’t run yourself ragged over us, right?”
She stroked Tom’s hand. He squeezed, but it felt more like a reflex than Tyler’s deliberate motions when he’d emerged from sedation. She squeezed again, praying he’d respond. He didn’t. The staff had put restraints on him once they discontinued the drugs that kept him in the coma, so he couldn’t rip out his breathing tube. She hated the restraints even though she knew they were necessary.
Nevvie dozed again, her head snapping up at the sound of Tyler’s voice.
“Nev.”
She looked at Tom. His sweet brown eyes stared at her. Her vision tripled as she cried. “Hi there, handsome.”
He squeezed her hand and she dropped her head to the bed again as she cried with relief.
Tyler changed position so he could lean closer to the bed. “You gave us a rather bad fright, love,” he whispered.
Tom slowly swiveled his head toward Tyler.
“By the way,” Tyler said, reaching out to stroke Tom’s cheek, his eyes never leaving Tom’s face, “I love you, too. More than you’ll ever know.” He kissed Tom’s hand.
Tom’s eyes slowly shifted back to Nevvie. She kissed his hand, nuzzled it against her cheek as best she could. “I love you, Tommy. You’re not allowed to scare me like that again, got it?”
He weakly squeezed her hand.
* * * *
Nevvie and Tyler stepped out while Ben and the on-call doctor checked Thomas. Twenty minutes later, Ben called them back from the waiting room. “Are you two going to get some sleep now?”
Tyler nodded and slipped his arm around Nevvie’s waist. “After we say good night to him, I promise.”
Tom slowly opened his eyes when he heard them by his bed. Nevvie didn’t tell Tyler that Tom’s awakening felt drastically different than Tyler’s. While Thomas had obviously returned, it seemed like there was still something missing. Tyler had been immediately awake and aware once he came to. She prayed it was only effects of the sedation and not brain damage.
Tyler carefully leaned over and kissed his lover’s forehead. “I need to take our girl home so she can sleep. We’ve run her ragged between us. Mom and Karen are at home with the baby.”
Thomas didn’t respond, just stared at Tyler with a blank look on his face.
Nevvie leaned in and kissed him. “We’ll be back in the morning, sweetie.”
His eyes seemed to focus on her but he didn’t make any acknowledgement he understood her words.
They reluctantly stepped out of his alcove. Ben talked with them by the nursing station. “Don’t worry. He’s been out for two weeks, it’ll take him a while to feel like himself again.”
Nevvie didn’t want to ask but the words came out before she could stop them. “Brain damage?”
“I’m not a doctor. You need to talk to his neurologist about that. Now that he’s awake they’ll evaluate him, see what’s going on. From my personal experience, anyone coming out of a two week coma isn’t going to be fully with it as soon as they wake up. It’s common to have disorientation, weakness. Talk to his doctors after they have a chance to evaluate him.”
They walked to the car in silence, hand in hand. Tyler started to open the driver side door for Nevvie when she looked at him. They hugged, both sobbing, holding each other as their relief poured out of them.
Their tough guy came back. They’d take him any way they could get him.
* * * *
The next morning, Peggy and Karen cried when Nevvie told them Tommy had awoke. Nevvie and Tyler hurried to the hospital. Peggy and Karen would join them later and bring Adam.
As they walked into the ICU, Nevvie found Tyler’s hand. Tom looked asleep, but when he heard them he opened his eyes.
He was still intubated and restrained. Perhaps marginally more aware than the night before, his eyes followed them as they stepped into the alcove. His nurse talked with Nevvie while Tyler settled next to him and leaned in close.
“I’m so sorry, Thomas,” he whispered, gripping his lover’s hand. “I feel like this is my fault. If you hadn’t been rushing to be with me…” He choked up and couldn’t continue.
Tom stared into his face but made no sign he’d comprehended Tyler’s words.
Nevvie finished with the nurse and leaned over to kiss Tom’s forehead. “She said they’ll get that tube out pretty soon. It’s going to be good to hear your voice again, mister.”
His eyes slowly followed her as she settled into the chair on his other side. When she took his hand and squeezed, he didn’t return it. Eventually his entire head moved, and he stared in her general direction. As she tried to look into his eyes it was as if he didn’t focus on her.
Swallowing back her fear, Nevvie tried to hide it from Tyler.
“You need a haircut,” she said, trying to joke with Thomas, wanting to provoke a smile or a wink or any expression at all she could hang her hat on as comprehensive acknowledgement of her words.
Nothing.
After twenty minutes, Tyler dozed off in his chair. Nevvie stood and walked to the end of the bed, watching Tom’s face as she did. His eyes eventually followed her movements, then he moved his head. When she walked back to stand next to him, again he was slow to move his head even though his eyes moved to follow her.
Don’t compare them. It’s totally different. It means nothing.
That would have to be her new mantra. What Tyler went through and what Tommy went through were totally different. She’d done a little research and knew just the sedation alone could take a while to fully leave his system.
It means nothing.
She leaned in and kissed his forehead, gently squeezed his hand. “I’m going to see if Mom and Karen are out there yet. I’ll send them in if they are. They’ll want to see you.??
? She straightened and watched him. As she was about to release his hand he gave hers a weak squeeze.
“Do that again. Please, Tommy.”
After an agonizingly long moment, he did.
She choked back a sob. “One more?”
He squeezed.
Nevvie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Two?”
They were weak, but they were squeezes.
“Tyler.”
His eyes opened and he carefully sat up. “What?”
She nodded to Tom’s other hand. Tyler held it.
“Tommy,” she said, “squeeze Tyler’s hand now.”
At first he didn’t, but he slowly swiveled his head to look at Tyler. Then he squeezed.
Tyler breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, love, thank you.”
Tom’s eyes still didn’t look right, dull and empty. Maybe that was an effect of the medication. She prayed that’s all it was.
* * * *
Eddie and Pete sat in the waiting room with Karen and Peggy. After a quick update, Peggy and Karen handed Adam off to Nevvie and hurried to the ICU.
Nevvie leaned in to Eddie when he put his arm around her shoulders. “You know he’s gonna be fine, Nev. He’ll come out of it. He has to.”
“Can you watch Adam today?”
“I’m all yours, babe.”
Pete sat across the way. “Tom-Tom loves him. Hasn’t quite figured out he’s not a puppy.” Tom-Tom was their yellow Labrador retriever, so named because of the sound his thick tail made beating against things when he was happy or excited.
Adam reached up and grabbed Eddie’s chin. “Dee!”
Nevvie smiled. “This keeps up, he’ll be saying ‘Eddie’ before he says ‘dada’ or ‘poppa.’”
When the squealing baby strained to reach Eddie, Nevvie handed him over. It was a relief to have him to depend on.
* * * *
Nevvie returned to the ICU with Tyler after lunch. Tom’s eyes were closed. As Nevvie and Tyler quietly talked with the nurse, Carol, Tom must have heard them. Nevvie watched Thomas follow them with his eyes as they walked around the bed and settled into their usual positions.
His head slowly turned toward Nevvie. She sensed something more, perhaps awareness. “Tommy?”
He looked at her, but steadier than before, as if struggling to focus.
She held his hand. “Blink for me, Tommy.”
He did, once, slowly. Deliberately.
“Blink two times.”
He did.
Fighting back tears, she said, “Squeeze my hand two times.”
He did.
Tyler sobbed from the other side of the bed. Thomas’ head slowly swiveled to look at him.
“Are you really back, love?” Tyler asked.
Thomas blinked once, slowly, deliberately.
The doctors decided to remove his breathing tube later that afternoon as long as he continued making progress. Around four o’clock, Tyler and Nevvie gathered with Peggy and Karen in the waiting room while it was done. Tyler and Nevvie silently held hands, anxious.
Nevvie closed her eyes. They were both awake. Tyler was home, Tom would be too, soon. She could quit crying and get on with helping them heal. She’d already signed up for a CPR class, determined to know how to do it before Peggy left. She wouldn’t take a chance like that again.
Carol called them back to the ICU an hour later. Thomas, his eyes closed, sat up in bed, free of the restraints and the breathing tube. He’d lost weight, at least twenty pounds, and his face looked gaunt.
Tyler tightly gripped Nevvie’s hand, steadying her. He had to be as much of a wreck as she felt, and here he was trying to be strong for her. At their approach, Tom’s eyes slowly slid open.
Carol touched them on the shoulders and leaned in between them. “He’s very weak, and he’ll have trouble talking for a while, so stay calm, keep him calm, and don’t worry about how he sounds. Don’t make him talk too much.”
Nevvie and Tyler nodded and took up their usual positions. Thomas looked at Tyler and tried to raise his hand to Tyler’s face. Nevvie held back her tears as Tyler laced his fingers through Tom’s and nuzzled his hand against his cheek. “Hello there, handsome. It’s good to see you back.”
Tommy slowly licked his chapped lips. “Hey.” His soft, whispery voice drew a sob from Nevvie. He sounded nothing like himself, but he was talking. He couldn’t be horribly brain damaged if he was responding, could he?
Tommy slowly turned his head to her and tried to reach for her as well. She grabbed his hand and kissed it. “Hey, you,” she said.
He gently squeezed her hand and whispered, “Hey. Love you. Both.”
Tyler and Nevvie cried.
* * * *
Tyler needed a nap, so Peggy and Karen came in to sit with Tommy. After dinner, Nevvie and Tyler returned to the ICU with the baby.
Tom managed a weak smile. “Hey,” he croaked.
Nevvie carefully laid Adam next to Tom. “Someone else wants to say hi. I haven’t been bringing him in since you were first admitted, we didn’t want him picking something up in here, but today’s special.”
Tom’s eyes glistened. When he touched Adam’s hand with his finger, his son tightly gripped it.
Nevvie swallowed back her tears yet again. Her boys were back. Thomas looked at her and weakly smiled. She leaned in and kissed him and that’s when she finally lost it, sobbing against his shoulder.
“S’okay,” he hoarsely whispered, kissing the top of her head. Beyond the obvious his voice sounded slurred and slow.
Tyler brushed away his own tears. “They’ll probably move you to a regular room soon. Life will start to get back to normal, I should think.”
Tom slowly nodded. Nevvie sat up and kissed him one more time before picking up the baby. She held him so Tom could kiss him. “I love you, Tommy.”
“You too.” He looked at Tyler. “Love you.”
Tyler frantically nodded, kissing him. “As I love you.”
Tom’s eyes closed. “Go rest.”
“All right, love. We will.”
“Make Nev sleep.”
Tyler and Nevvie exchanged a look and laughed.
* * * *
Nevvie gave up trying to sleep around midnight. Tyler caught her hand as she tried to get out of bed and pulled her back to him for a kiss. “And give him another for me,” he said, kissing her again.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing?”
“For waking you up.”
“Don’t feel guilty that you wish to go to him. I’m all right. He needs you.”
Ben had her things ready when she arrived. Tommy’s eyes were closed, but his soft, hoarse whisper startled her.
“Hey.”
“Hey, you.” She leaned in and kissed him. He opened his eyes. “Ready for your bath?” She gently brushed stray hair away from his forehead.
“Bath?”
It was hard for her to get used to his weak voice. She hoped that would be the first thing to return to normal. “Yeah. Do you think I’m going to let anyone else do this for you?” She forced a smile and set up her MP3 player. He watched as she prepped everything and pulled the curtain and door shut to his alcove.
She unsnapped the gown shoulders and tucked the towel around his face. “Have to shave you first. It’s going to be easier now without that damn tube…”
He touched her hand.
The floodgate broke. She sat in the chair next to his bed and buried her face against his side and softly sobbed.
He couldn’t do much more than rest his hand on the back of her head. “S’okay. Don’t cry.”
After a few minutes she composed herself and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to do that in front of you, but you don’t know how glad I am to have you back.” She blew her nose and continued her routine, only now his eyes followed her, his ears heard her, and he occasionally smiled or responded to her comments.
After he was shaved she patted his fa
ce dry. “Now for your sponge bath.”
“How bad?”
“Your injuries?”
He slowly nodded.
“Bad enough. Could have been a lot worse, all things considered.” He closed his eyes and didn’t look while she bathed him, not wanting to see. He winced a little as she did his range of motion exercises.
“I’m sorry.”
His eyes were closed, but his face looked pinched, tight with pain. “S’okay.”
An hour later, she sat down and reached for the paperback in her bag, then laughed. “I guess I should back up and start from the point where you were.”
“Go home. Sleep.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. Not without both my boys home. This is my routine. I need you back. Then we can all get a good night’s sleep.”
“Routine?”
“Every night.” She stroked his hair. “I come in every night with you.”
“What time is it?”
She looked at the clock. “Two.”
“Go home at three. Deal?” His brown eyes struggled to focus on her.
She nodded. “Deal.”
* * * *
Thomas spent most of the next two days sleeping, awaking a little to say hi before drifting back to the safety of darkness. It was fucking hard to talk, like the words didn’t want to come. Everything hurt. And he couldn’t eat, even though he suspected trying to satisfy the constant hungry growl in his belly would cause a flurry of new problems. He settled for the water, broth, sports drinks, and supplement shakes they let him have between his naps. Time blurred for the most part, night distinguished from day by Nevvie coming in to give him his bath.
The weakness more than anything scared him. He could barely lift his arms, had difficulty holding things. Perhaps it was best he was still on a liquid diet he could drink through a straw, because he didn’t know if he even had the strength to lift a spoon to his lips, much less the dexterity to get the damn thing in his mouth.
It touched and shamed him that Nevvie came in each night to take care of him. She shouldn’t have to do this, she should be able to focus on Tyler, not him. She talked nearly non-stop, and he usually closed his eyes while she worked, enjoying the feel of her hands on him and the sound of her voice.